It’s been a while…

It’s been a long time since I felt like writing. Or posting on social media. Or getting together with friends. And it’s okay.

I almost wrote, “And I’m okay with that” but that’s not quite true. I’ve accepted the fact that the last few months have felt this way, but I’m not entirely “okay” with it. Because I’ve been depleted–worn out, stretched thin by a too busy schedule combined with emotionally draining memories and events that used up all my energetic reserves and then some. And though I’ve accepted this, I still wish there was a way for me to function in this busy, chaotic rush-rush-rush of a world that didn’t involve running on empty every so often.

Return to Self Care

Unfortunately, I had been running on empty for a while, so I stepped back these last few months… away from all that wasn’t truly desirable or necessary. This kind of self care is so boring it doesn’t really seem worth mentioning: saying no to social events, putting off new projects, going to bed early or (and?) taking lots of naps, drinking more water, and taking herbal supplements (adaptogens are my friends). It doesn’t make for good photos or smooth-sounding captions. But it’s this kind of self care that no one talks about that is most important and makes the most difference and it’s lack of flashy-ness is exactly why we should focus on it.

I’ve talked about this before… how true self care is mundane and simple, everyday tasks of making sure your basic needs are met. It’s not a new practice of mine… but the biggest piece of this practice lately is reminding myself that it’s okay to do this–I’m allowed to take care of myself. I’m still worthy and lovable; I don’t have to live in a constant state of productivity in order to be allowed to exist in this world.

One day this winter I shared a statement with my yoga students at the end of class. It’s an idea that stemmed from my favorite Lao Tzu quote, “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” At the time, I made the statement from such an honest, open-hearted place that I could feel it’s truthfulness in my bones. Yet, outside the yoga studio I forget them. This is what I told my students that day:

Though there is still so much you have to learn and grow and be, you are perfect, in this moment, just as you are.

So now I set the intention to remember those words, remember this truth. It applies to me, too. Not just when I’m productive, but even (or especially) when I’m not.